Donna Chester Counselling

Reflecting on Anxiety and phone usage  How strange is it that we as a species, are so intelligent, yet the more we improve things in our world, we move further away from who we are. As human beings, we are animals, yet we are slowly being made into robots. At one time, we could notice what our bodies needed by trusting our instincts. The feelings we noticed would give us signals that we need the toilet, we are hungry, full or tired. We could then make sure we acted accordingly. Nowadays we h ave so many apps for all these things that if we are not on our phones, we may become anxious because we feel we need to be doing something and so we turn to our phones for answers. Being neurodivergent, like myself, can also make this tricky because a lot of these apps are helpful for us. They help us to prioritise things and remember tasks. Whilst I think these are helpful in some ways, I feel they could cause an even bigger issue in the long run because we are needing to rely on our phones m...

  Why am I feeling the way I do?  (a guide to attachment) When we are young, we pick things up from our caregivers. We learn when/if it is safe to ask for something, or if it is safe to show our emotions. What we learn from our caregivers can stay in our bodies for the rest of our lives. We might remain hypervigilant and are always looking out for how others are behaving so that we can adjust our own behaviour to suit. This often shows up such as going our of our way to make sure we don't upset anyone, always saying yes, never speaking up for our own needs - often not even knowing what these needs are.  The stress that we carry in our bodies from being young can feel like; a tight jaw, teeth grinding/clenching, tense shoulders, a tight stomach, shallow breathing, trouble reaching a top breath for air. However, if we start to notice these patterns then we can start to break these habits and begin to create our own pathways that feel safe. Here's an example; We are a child,...

 

 What is Self Awareness?  There is a lot of talk these days about self awareness , so what actually is it and why is it so important? Self awareness is all about us noticing what is going on for us whilst it is happening - in that moment. We can then start to understand the things we are experiencing and most importantly, we can then act appropriately.  For instance; you may have had anxiety for many years. You know you feel anxious and you can sort of feel it when it hits you, but you may be unaware exactly what it is and try and push it away. You may then start analysing why you are feeling anxious. This then persists in your mind by going over and over things in the past and the future. This makes anxiety worse . We can then start to label ourselves as an anxious person. We may develop a narrative in our heads that we tell ourselves everyday. We start to use this central anxious character to foresee outcomes for our future selves.  None of this is self-awareness. ...