What is Self Awareness? 


There is a lot of talk these days about self awareness, so what actually is it and why is it so important?

Self awareness is all about us noticing what is going on for us whilst it is happening - in that moment. We can then start to understand the things we are experiencing and most importantly, we can then act appropriately. 

For instance; you may have had anxiety for many years. You know you feel anxious and you can sort of feel it when it hits you, but you may be unaware exactly what it is and try and push it away. You may then start analysing why you are feeling anxious. This then persists in your mind by going over and over things in the past and the future. This makes anxiety worse. We can then start to label ourselves as an anxious person. We may develop a narrative in our heads that we tell ourselves everyday. We start to use this central anxious character to foresee outcomes for our future selves. 

None of this is self-awareness. What this does is create more anxiety and a version of ourselves that is not necessarily true. 

So, what can we do about this?

To be self-aware, we need to start to learn about what we are thinking and feeling in that moment. We need to try and catch it whilst it is there. Lets use a scenario; You may have an event coming up and thoughts about it may pass by your mind so quickly that you are usually unable to stop it. However, this time you notice a feeling in your body and quickly link to that thought so you can catch it. It's telling you "i'm not looking forward to this event". Once you have noticed that thought, you can start to be curious about it. I wonder why this thought is popping up?  We can listen to what comes up for us. It may be that we are thinking "I'm not good at socialising and I would rather not go". 

We can start to notice sensations in our bodies. What energy is there? If it is fear, is this something you want to overcome? Or is it trying to tell you that you'd just rather not go and you are okay with that? 

Is it anger? If so, why might that be?

Is it sadness? Again, what might be making you feel sad? Do you wish you could go but feel too anxious about it?

Self awareness can start to help us to understand our 'triggers'. When I look back on my own healing ride I know it has all started with self awareness. I am now more aware that if things change suddenly that I will feel frustrated and stressed but I know the reasons behind this now and I can feel compassion towards myself instead of berating myself for getting frustrated. 

Another important aspect of being self aware is that we can start to understand ourselves much more and begin to tune in to our intuition and our real self. We can notice when we have a thought and a feeling that don't really align with our own beliefs. For eg. I may notice that I am feeling guilty about giving money to charity but I want to do this, so why is that? Is it an old belief from when I had little money and nothing to spare? What do I believe now? Once I have established my new belief and that I am okay with this, I am able to let that guilt go whereas in the past, that guilt could have stayed with me for days.

Once we know what our real-self looks, sounds and feels like, we are able to tell when we are on the right path towards authenticity. 

Donna Chester 

Donna Chester counselling

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