Donna Chester Counselling

Compassion - The Underrated Part Of Healing Many people believe that they understand what compassion is as it can come easily to some people, to empathise with another persons struggles. But how do you respond to that?  Compassion isn't just about feeling the deep hurt of other people, it's also about how we respond to it, especially when that suffering comes from our own struggles. Self compassion can be hard to grasp at first. The desire to help others can end up feeling like we need to fix something for the other person. So when it comes to self compassion we can often feel really stuck because we look for ways to fix ourselves. When we're trying to fix ourselves we can end up getting stuck in a cycle of analysing everything which can cause us to be critical towards ourselves when we realise we're not fixing anything at all. The thing is that if you sit with your own empathy towards yourself, it can bring up feelings that are really hard to sit with. Pushing them awa...

  The Gender Bible On the day of our birth, whether we like it or not, we are given a 'gender bible.' We are too young to accept it, but it is thrust upon us ready for when we are old enough to take a proper look. It seems that the bible itself isn't necessary though, because people keep telling you what is in it. They will buy you clothes that match the gender stereotype in your bible, and toys to go with it. They will tell you what you are supposed to like and what you shouldn't. This is all whilst you are too young to choose your own bible.  The pages in the bible are really highlighted when it comes to birthdays and Christmas' as well-meaning family and friends chose something for you from the 'gender catalogue'. A pink toy phone for a girl that looks nothing like the real thing, whilst their brother gets a real looking one for a more serious approach. Special occasions are also noted in the bible as having specific dress code. A dress for a girl that fe...

 More Than Enough: A Letter To The Overwhelmed. You go through life being told that you are not doing enough, that you are failing and that you need to put in more effort. If they only knew that you were already putting in 150% effort every minute of everyday just to stay on top of things. You felt completely misunderstood growing up as you would often say the wrong thing without bad intention, and you would get a feeling of being different to everyone else.  You stumble through life being psychologically knocked and bumped every day. You have no idea who you are because you have tried so hard not to be the person others have criticised. You mirror other people in order to feel safe and understood and to shield yourself from more criticism. You feel the energy in a room and are highly attuned to the emotions of others around you. You try to attend to these emotions to help reduce any conflict.  You over extend yourself. You say yes to things when you really want to say no...

A Tribute to the Transgender Community on Transgender Visibility Day  Being an ally to the transgender and non binary community means standing alongside some of the bravest people I know. Those people have chosen to live as their authentic selves despite a world that makes it difficult. They ask for nothing more than the right to be who they are, yet society repeatedly questions their identity, challenges their existence and constantly puts obstacles in their way. Imagine being told that your own experience of yourself isn't real. Or that your truth is up for debate. It is a painful, isolating and frustrating reality that many transgender people face every day. We see this in other areas of life too; people with chronic pain or anxiety disorders often struggle to be believed because others can't see their struggles. But just as pain is real even when it is invisible, transgender and non binary people are real, valid and deserving of respect. The Right To Simply Exist  At the c...

4-5 minute read.     Today, on Epilepsy Awareness Day, I want to share how epilepsy affects not only those who live with it but also the people around them.   Growing up with a parent who had epilepsy, I had no guidance to help me understand this complex condition. It was rarely mentioned in the media, on TV, or in books. There was nothing around me to help make sense of what our family was going through.   Disabilities can have a deep, generational impact—but my hope is that, through awareness and understanding, families can find healing.   Epilepsy is often misunderstood because it is an invisible condition.  Just because someone appears to function well day to day does not mean that they can always fully meet their own needs. Managing epilepsy can be challenging both physically and emotionally.   The Emotional Impact of Epilepsy   Living with epilepsy can feel incredibly isolating. Because the condition is not always visible, people can struggl...

  The Benefits of Email Counselling: A modern Approach to Therapy When I heard about email counselling it instantly grabbed my attention. As an introvert myself, I could see how this could help a lot of people who might struggle with traditional face to face counselling. One of my values is to make counselling as accessible to as many people as possible. Having since started work in this area, I wanted to share with you some of the benefits of email therapy as opposed to traditional face to face.  1.     Convenience and Flexibility Email counselling allows clients to chose their own schedule for their sessions. It eliminates the need to travel to a certain place at a specific time which means they are not needing to disrupt their usual routine. You may be a busy parent, a carer that has many duties to attend to throughout the day, or busy working at your job - perhaps working shift patterns, email counselling enables you to access therapeutic support at a time that s...